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Ok, Here's I Am A Triangle.Welcome to I Am A Triangle. There is a new blog available, titled: Things Left Behind. Would you like to hear the new blog post?
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One way that I approached my move to Panama to make it less scary was to tell myself that I could keep a lot of things about my life in Denver the same. I could keep in touch with friends, see people when I come to town I'd have a new life in Panama but make the effort to keep one foot in Denver. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of it. Of course, it takes two people to keep a relationship so the friendships that have survived are with the people who will make the effort with me. I flew to Denver a week before Christmas and planned to go up to Breckenridge to meet my family to ski for a week. I am a good skier. When I lived in Denver I always had a season pass. I would count my days on the mountain and vertical feet skied. I wasn't on the leaderboard but it was something I did anyway. I love the feeling of flying down the mountain and weaving in and out of other skiers. I had a rude awakening coming back this time around. For the first time in two years of coming back from Panama to visit I could feel the altitude affecting me. I was breathing heavily walking through the Denver airport. Huh. That's unusual. I woke up the next day with a headache. A headache that persisted for the rest of the week I was there. Denver's altitude is 5,280 ft above sea level and Breckenridge is 9,600' at the base of the ski resort. I went to an IV bar (can't believe this is a thing) before heading up to the mountains. I felt great the first night in Breck but the next morning I woke up in a world of hurt. Altitude sickness feels like the worst hangover you've ever had but it doesn't get gradually better over the course of the day as a hangover would. You know that the best thing you can do is drink water, but you're so nauseous that you can't eat or drink anything. I laid on the couch willing myself to at least go to the oxygen bar (yep) that Google said was 450' away from my location. I went to Breck several days earlier than my family in hopes of working on my book proposal and getting in some solo ski time. Instead, I wallowed in misery trying to hydrate and acclimate to the altitude. I was gradually getting better but once we started skiing I could feel the effects again. Not to mention that over the last two years my body has adjusted to the damp, hot climate of a Caribbean island so the dry cold on the mountain went right through me. I did less vertical feet in all thee days combined that I would normally do in one day when I lived here. Would you like to continue with the next section titled: Things Left Behind part 2
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What I realized through this physical hardship was that there are so many intangible things that I was sure would remain the same for me to come back to that haven't. When I moved away people continued on with their lives. I never have enough time to see everyone when I visit so I have to prioritize the ones who keep in touch with me regularly. When we get together we tell each other the big moments of our lives but it's often the smaller moments that keep friendships close. I was recently introduced to a concept/community created by Naomi Hattaway that is summed up as: you are one shape inside of your passport country (square) and then as you live around the world you begin to take on pieces of other cultures and belief systems (circles) which form you into a new shape (triangle). When you try to repatriate you no longer fit into your original shape. This concept/community is called I am a Triangle. Sure, if I moved back to Colorado my body would adjust over time and be able to handle the climate and elevation in Colorado again, and so would my relationships to some extent. However, being a triangle means that I'll likely never fully fit back into my original culture again. I made a choice that led me to this place and I realized that I no longer have one foot in Colorado. That's okay, though. I still have a handful of friends whom I reunite with and it's as if no time has passed. I'm so grateful for that, it keeps me tethered to Denver. https://travelingfortruth.com/blog/2020/1/2/things-left-behind The post Things Left Behind appeared first on I am a Triangle. This concludes the blog post titled : Things Left Behind Would you like to hear the next blog post titled: Gender Expansive Journeys with Dr. Laura Anderson?
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Are you raising, or do you know anyone raising a child who is gender expansive? Parenting a child with gender expansive behavior is a marvelous, and often complicated, journey. Our world remains a very gendered place- where it is clearly understood what behaviors and interests are expected for girls and how those expectations differ for boys. Just take a walk through any toy aisle, or clothing store. Clothes and toys are sorted strictly by pink and blue- boys' toys are blue and red and rough and tumble. Girls' toys are pink, purple and pretty. Boys build and bury things, girls take care of dolls or cook in play kitchens. I would argue that strict gender rules are limiting for all of us, but there is a group of children for whom these rigid rules are actively harmful. To continue this discussion, some definitions are important. We used to think that gender was based solely on the two categories- boy or girl- based on exterior genitals. Ultrasounds would give clear clues, and then gender was thought to be done the minute the doctor announced it officially in delivery rooms. Sex assigned at birth is the phrase we use now to refer to those boy or girl categories assigned based on genitals. We now understand that gender is much more complicated than two finite categories. Different from sex assigned at birth, our gender identity is our internal head-and-heart felt sense of gender. Others cannot determine this at a glance. For some, their gender identity can change over a their life time, and for others, their gender identity remains stable throughout their lifespan. For some people (called cisgender) their gender identity is in alignment with their sex assigned at birth. For others, (called non-binary or transgender) their internal felt sense of gender is not in alignment with the sex they were assigned at birth. Another important concept in understanding gender, is the idea that our gender expression (how we show our internal felt sense of gender to the world) is different from our gender identity. Gender expression refers to things like how we dress, or wear our hair, or the interests we choose. Some exploration with gender expression is common during childhood. Many of us have stories of sons asking for their toenails painted, or daughters playing with Tonka trucks. This type of exploration is exactly why there are dress up clothes in preschool classrooms. Our gender expression can change from day to day, but gender identity is more stable. Finally our sexually orientation refers to whom we find romantically and sexually attractive. It has nothing to do with how male or female or both or neither we feel, and it is entirely separate from our gender identity. By the time children are in preschool, other children and adults notice if the clothes and toys they choose are unexpected based on their sex assigned at birth. It is often expansive gender expression that comes to adult attention first. And in many cases, those around gender expansive children let them know quickly that what they are doing is breaking societal and/or family norms. This type of negative peer and adult feedback often happens swiftly, and starts as early as preschool. It is important to note that not all children who demonstrate gender expansive behaviors ultimate identify as non-binary or transgender. Sometimes gender expansive children grow up to be cisgender and heterosexual. Others ultimately identify as cisgender and gay or lesbian. And others identify as non-binary or transgender. From a parenting point of view, it is critical to have accurate information, and an ability to deal with ambiguity and follow your child's lead. Would you like to continue with the next section titled: Gender Expansive Journeys with Dr. Laura Anderson part 2
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Parents of gender expansive children often find themselves in situations where they need to decide whether, and how, to support their gender expansive children. Increasing data shows clearly that the more support gender expansive children have, the happier and better adjusted they are. And in fact for gender expansive, non-binary and transgender children and teens, a lack of parent support is connected with higher rates of anxiety, depression, suicide attempts and substance use. Yet, many parents have understandable confusion about gender identity development, and understandable fears about negative things their children will experience if they "allow" their children to behave in gender expansive ways. Gender expansive kids and their parents in global nomad communities face distinct challenges. Rotating populations in expatriate communities means that gender expansive behavior is "discovered" repeatedly by changing peers, teachers and neighbors. Some host country laws mean that establishing support groups and gay/straight alliances on school campuses can be tricky. In some global nomad communities, parents are particularly hesitant to have their children identified as having "specialized needs" of any kinds as there can be career implications for parents and families living far from "home" in their passport countries. For all of these reasons, global nomad parents raising gender expansive kids need particularly informed and sensitive kinds of support to be able to benefit from many of the strengths of the thoughtful, culturally savvy global nomad community. It is really common for all parents of gender expansive children to feel confused, isolated, and worried about the implications of decision-making along their child's gender journey. Even the most affirming parents often need support navigating this journey. It can be an especially important time to find knowledgeable and understanding guidance and community. There are beautiful parts of walking a gender journey with a child- and parents often need support handling the hard parts to be able to fully embrace gifts that along the way on a distinct, gender expansive journey. If you or anyone you know could benefit from thoughtful professional support, please explore drlsanderson.com or visit Common Chord Real Conversations Courses. The courses cover topics such as: Key Elements in a gender affirming home Scripts for supporting parents Foundations in gender: how do I understand this? Scripts for talking with and listening to our kids about gender Gender Journey: Scripts to use with loved ones The post Gender Expansive Journeys with Dr. Laura Anderson appeared first on I am a Triangle. This concludes the blog post titled : Gender Expansive Journeys with Dr. Laura Anderson Would you like to hear the next blog post titled: PRÍBEH O TROJUHOLNÍK?
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